Short and Sweet WTF

Your name is Sophie and you are currently wandering through the dark, silent streets of what you now know to be the city of Stellalune. Over the course of your walk, the architecture has gradually shifted from displaying a strong gothic influence to something more provincial, but you still don’t know where you are. It feels as though you have been walking for miles by the time an all-night coffeehouse appears. The doorbell chimes as you enter. 

Cafe 24/7, midnight

YOU: *sniff* Mmm, coffee. 

You wander up to the counter. It’s unusually high, and at first seems deserted, until a steaming hot cup of coffee suddenly appears. 

???: Order up!

YOU: Actually, I was wondering if I could get directions to—

The shaggy head of a rabbit appears over the edge of the counter. 

RABBIT: It’s on the house. 

YOU: Okay then. 

The rabbit disappears behind the counter. Did it ever exist at all? You take the coffee and wander over to the seating area. There is only one other person: a woman with blue hair, a plate of profiteroles, and the melancholy air typical of artists, poets, and other such hopeless romantics. You sip your coffee while sneaking looks out of the corner of your eye. 

WOMAN: Can I help you?

YOU: Actually, I could use directions to the bed and breakfast near the lighthouse.

WOMAN: You could also use a tall drink of water.

YOU: I beg your pardon?!

WOMAN: *points at your cup of coffee* It looks like coffee, sure. But really? Who knows.

You slide the cup of coffee a few inches away from you. Sadly, it’s unknown nature does not make it any less tempting.

WOMAN: Anyway, you must be new around here, so I’ll introduce myself. Louise. 

YOU: Nice to meet you. My name is Sophie.

LOUISE: I didn’t ask.

YOU: …

LOUISE: Anyway, this is how you get to the B&B from here. 

Louise draws a serviceable street map on the back of a napkin.

YOU: Thanks. 

LOUISE: Sure. Anyway, I’ve done my duty, and I’m meeting my boyfriend soon, so if you don’t mind… *wiggles fingers*

YOU: Of course.

You make to leave, but stop and eye your “coffee.”

LOUISE: Just leave it. 

YOU: Are you sure?

LOUISE: Yep. Don’t forget to drink some water.

YOU: Right…

The Challenge